Life of a Bi (Part 9)

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Aku menatap layar handphone-ku dan memastikan itu Tiara yang sama dengan Tiara yang mengirim message di Facebook Nucky. Tapi ketika kubuka daftar permintaan teman, namanya tak ada dalam daftar itu.

“Ih kok aneh? Tadi ada notifikasinya kok pas dibuka nggak ada sih?” gumamku saat mengetahui nama Tiara tidak ada dalam daftar permintaan teman.

“Ah, kepencet kali ya,” aku berusaha menyudahi rasa penasaranku terhadap kejadian itu.

Namun beberapa jam kemudian terjadi lagi hal yang sama. Ada notifikasi tapi tak ada dalam daftar permintaan pertemanan. Aneh. Tak mungkin kalau ini hanya sekedar kepencet. Pasti ada suatu maksud. Tapi entah apa.

Beberapa hari berikutnya aku sedang santai di rumah karena sedang libur bekerja. Akhirnya aku diterima bekerja di suatu perusahaan. Namun sayangnya di saat aku bekerja — yang semula kupikir akan lebih gampang menghabiskan waktu dengan Nucky— malah keadaan kami seperti ini. Kami baik-baik saja sebenarnya, hanya sudah tak harmonis lagi. Masih sesekali bertukar kabar namun tak sesering dulu. Angan-angan kami dulu, terlaksana jua, dalam kondisi kami saat itu sudah tak seperti sebelumnya.

Aku sedang memainkan handphone-ku dan sedang iseng browsing. Tiba-tiba notifikasi itu muncul lagi.

Facebook:

Tiara Priscillia added you as a friend on Facebook.

Lagi? Untuk kesekian kalinya? Tapi kali ini aku cepat membuka laman daftar permintaan teman, nama Tiara ada di sana. Tanpa pikir panjang aku memilih opsi “confirm“. Lalu kubuka profile Facebook-nya.

Gotcha! Kali ini nggak akan aku biarin kamu hilang lagi. Mau cancel request lagi, hah? Sorry, aku mau kepo-in dulu,” aku kegirangan karena rasa penasaran dengan Tiara akhirnya sebentar lagi akan terjawab.

“Hmm, nggak ada yang aneh,” saatku melihat profile-nyatak kutemukan sesuatu yang janggal.

“Eh. Wait. Nucky? Nucky komen di statusnya yang nggak penting ini? Hah? Kok?” Aku merasa aneh dengan Nucky yang menuliskan komentarnya di status yang ditulis Tiara. Setahuku Nucky orang yang jarang berkomentar atau menyukai status orang lain jika tidak benar-benar ia sukai. Atau… Nucky sedang menyukai orang yang membuat status itu?

Ada yang salah dengan hal ini. Nucky bahkan mengomentari dan menyukai beberapa posting-an Tiara. Aku mengklik nama Nucky dalam daftar komentar salah satu status Tiara.

“Hah? Kok add as a friend sih? What? Aku di-remove gitu sama Nucky?” ini semakin aneh. Mana mungkin Nucky menghapusku dari daftar temannya di Facebook. Ini pasti ada sesuatu.

Did you remove me from your Facebook?” saat itu juga aku langsung mengirim pesan singkat kepada Nucky.

Tak lama kemudian Nucky membalas,

It wasn’t me. I swear,” jawaban Nucky semakin membingungkanku.

Then who did?” aku segera membalas pesannya lagi.

My gf. I told you, I wanna meet you. I need to talk. Banyak yang pengen aku ceritain sama kamu.”

Oh. Nucky sudah punya pacar lagi, pantas saja ada yang berbeda dan terasa salah. Aku memang membebaskan Nucky untuk memiliki pacar lagi. Semenjak rasa bersalahku padanya semakin besar, aku memutuskan untuk membiarkannya membuka hati dengan yang lain, asalkan dia bilang padaku.

Pada pertemuan terakhir kami pun, Nucky menanyakan apakah aku baik-baik saja jika dia punya pacar lagi. Aku jawab, aku tidak akan baik-baik saja namun aku akan coba membiasakan dan biarlah itu jadi urusanku dan perasaanku sendiri. Sama seperti kala Nucky merasa cemburu terhadap suamiku, itu menjadi risikonya berpacaran denganku. Biarlah aku pun merasakan hal yang sama. Kupikir dengan demikian aku dan dia akan imbang.

Namun selama ini tak perlu kuberkata “jangan dekat-dekat sama cewek itu” tapi Nucky dengan sendirinya akan membatasi sikapnya terhadap perempuan lain. Rasa sayangnya yang tulus padaku sudah menjaga hatinya dan membatasi sikapnya terhadap perempuan lain, meskipun aku sudah membebaskannya untuk membuka hati.

Kali ini sangat berbeda. Sikapnya menunjukkan sesuatu yang belum pernah aku lihat sebelumnya.

“Oh, I see. Pantes aku di-remove :)” aku membalas lagi pesannya saat itu.

“Please, Mimi. Maafin aku, bukan aku yang pengen hapus kamu dari Facebook aku,” Nucky masih terlihat membela diri.

Ya, ya, ya. Bagus. Pacar barunya sudah tahu Facebook-ku sampai-sampai aku dihapus dari daftar temannya Nucky. Sebentar, jangan-jangan?

“Kamu pacaran sama Tiara?????” aku baru menyadari hubungan dari kejadian belakangan ini. Tiara yang ada dan hilang dalam permintaan pertemananku di Facebook. Kemudian Facebook-ku yang tiba-tiba dihapus dari Nucky. Pasti Tiara sedang mencari tahu tentangku, dengan bodohnya aku menerima permintaan pertemanannya dan sekarang dia tahu semua tentangku. Sial.

“Aku bisa jelasin semuanya, Sayang. Please kamu jangan salah paham dulu. Aku mau jelasin tentang dia.”

“BESOK JAM 9.30 PAGI DI J.CO CIWALK. NGGAK MAU TAU, KAMU HARUS DATENG. JANGAN TELAT. NGGAK MAU TAHU!!!!”

*to be continued

(Amytha Monica, @amythamonicaa)

 

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