Tata dan Nuna – The Honeymoon (Part 4 – Nuna – Final)

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20 April 2016

Aku masih belum berhasil menghubungi Tata sampai detik ini. Sepertinya Tata sangat marah padaku. Aku mengerti, menjadi seseorang di posisi Tata sekarang itu tidaklah mudah. Melihat pacarnya sendiri menikah dan bersama orang lain. Bahkan sekarang, waktu yang dia miliki denganku sangat sedikit. Kesempatan berkomunikasi saja sangat sedikit dan tak lagi intens, apalagi kesempatan bertemu. Jadi wajar saja bila Tata cemburu dan marah lagi padaku, aku sangat mengerti itu.

Merelakan aku dengan yang lain itu pasti butuh proses, meskipun Tata sudah pernah bilang kalau dia akan mencoba untuk membuang rasa cemburunya dengan Ryan, tapi aku yakin kenyataannya tak akan semudah yang dia katakan.

Tata saat ini mungkin masih butuh waktu untuk menyendiri. Seperti halnya yang dilakukan Tata kalau sedang marah kepadaku, dia butuh waktu. Semoga saja Tata mau bicara lagi padaku secepatnya. Karena sesungguhnya aku tak kuasa menahan rindu, menahan rasa ingin bertemu, dan ingin memeluknya lagi. Andai Tata tahu betapa di sini aku tak henti memikirkannya.

21 April 2016
“Halo? Yang? Kamu ke mana aja?”
Akhirnya Tata bisa aku hubungi lagi.
“Hei, Nun. Ada aja kok. Maaf aku kemarin lagi sibuk banget.”
“Bohong deh. Kamu pasti marah ya sama aku?”
“Marah kenapa? Nggak ah. Aku emang beneran lagi sibuk. Pas aku ada waktu, kan kamunya pas lagi nggak ngasih kode buat dihubungin, ya udah aku jadi gak hubungin kamu.”
“Yang.. Kalau marah bilang aja, aku tuh kenal kamu bukan baru sehari dua hari. Kenapa? Kamu cemburu lagi ya?”
“Enggak.”
“Tapi kamu ngilang habis nge-seen pic yang aku upload di Path. Sikap kamu tuh sama kayak pas aku prewed.”
“Terus kenapa? Nggak boleh aku jealous sama pacar aku sendiri?”
“Ya bukannya nggak boleh cemburu, Sayang, tapi kan ya jangan sama Ryan. Kan kamu tahu Ryan suami aku sekarang. Kan kita juga udah komit untuk hal ini.”
“Ya kamu ngomong gampang, Nun! Kamu nggak tahu apa yang aku rasain!”
“Dengerin dulu yang, aku belum selesai bicara.”
“Kamu pikir gampang apa biarin cewek yang udah aku pacarin 4 tahun terus ML sama orang lain! Ya gak akan semudah itu kecuali gue nggak ada rasa sama lo!”

Aku tak kuasa menahan tangisku saat mendengar Tata bicara seperti itu padaku. Aku paham, amat sangat paham. Aku pun terkadang merasa jijik dengan diriku sendiri, karena aku melakukan semua hal yang aku lakukan dengan Tata kepada Ryan, termasuk urusan ranjang pun. Aku merasa seperti… Apalah aku ini, menjalin hubungan dengan dua orang, melakukan “hal itu” pun dengan dua orang, tapi apa yang bisa aku lakukan?

Aku merasa bersalah kepada Tata, sebelum menikah dengan Ryan, Tatalah yang “menguasai” diriku sepenuhnya. Namun sekarang ada Ryan yang “menguasaiku” secara legal. Aku tak kuasa menolak, apalagi ini adalah kewajibanku sebagai seorang istri. Aku saja merasa jijik pada diriku sendiri, apalagi kamu ya, Ta.

22 April 2016
Bella Lanuna: Yang, please jangan marah terus sama aku.
Bella Lanuna: Aku kangen sama kamu, aku nggak tenang di sini karena nggak dapet kabar kamu.
Bella Lanuna: Aku tanya anak-anak juga nggak ada yang ketemu kamu.
Bella Lanuna: Please jangan marah terus.
Bella Lanuna: Besok aku pulang, kalau bisa aku langsung temuin kamu, tapi kalau nggak bisa, aku Senin mau ketemu kamu, aku pengen ngobrol.
Bella Lanuna: Marahnya jangan lama-lama, terus nggak apa-apa marah, tapi jangan lupa makan ya.
Bella Lanuna: I miss you :((

Sungguh, aku rindu sekali padamu, Ta. Lagi-lagi rasanya aku ingin berlari menemuimu dan memelukmu. Ingin segera esok, agar aku segera pulang ke Bandung. Segera bisa menemuimu dan membicarakan semua, tentang semua hal yang ada di pikiran kita dan mengganjal di hati kita, agar kita tak seperti ini.

23 April 2016
Akhirnya aku tiba di Bandung juga. Aku ingin menghubungi Tata, tapi sudahlah, biar besok pagi saja aku langsung temui. Inginnya begitu keluar bandara aku menuju ke kosan Tata, tapi apa daya. Lagi-lagi aku tak bisa, karena ada Ryan dan aku tak tahu harus menggunakan alasan apa yang masuk akal agar aku bisa menemui Tata.

24 April 2016
Sejak pukul 04.30 aku sudah bangun, rasanya gelisah, ingin segera pagi saja. Aku ingin menemui Tata terlebih dahulu sebelum pergi ke kantor.

“Aa, aku pergi ke kantor duluan ya.”
“Pagi amat, De. Baru jam 6 kan ini?”
“Iya nih, aku kan udah hampir dua minggu nggak masuk, kerjaan pasti numpuk.”
“Iya sih. Aku anter aja ya?”
“Gak usah, A. Aku pergi sendiri aja. Kalau kerja masing-masing aja ya.”
“Ya udah kalau kamu maunya gitu, kamu hati-hati, De.”

Lagi-lagi pura-pura. Ah, biarlah. Yang penting aku bisa menemui Tata. Aku segera memacu mobilku ke arah kosan Tata.

“Nun? Kamu kok ada disini? Udahan bulan madunya?”
Tata masih saja bersikap dingin kepadaku. Ini harus segera diselesaikan.
“Ta.. Nuna pengen bicara..”
Aku menatap Tata, orang yang ingin aku temui selama ini, orang yang amat sangat aku rindukan, akhirnya bisa aku temui.
“Nuna minta maaf, Ta.. Tapi Nunaa..”

Huhu, dasar memang aku cengeng, niat mau bicara malah menangis. Aku memang paling tak bisa bicara hal yang mendalam tanpa menangis, cengeng memang. Tata sepertinya tak bisa melihatku seperti ini, raut mukanya masih dingin dan kesal, tapi dia memelukku.

“Aku tuh cuma kangen banget sama kamu, banget Nun. Kamu inget-inget coba, kapan terakhir kita quality time? Udah lama kan, ya? Terus aku liat foto kamu yang pake baju seksi gitu, di-upload di Instagram Ryan, pas aku lagi kangen-kangennya sama kamu. Coba kamu bayangin, kamu sanggup gitu kalau jadi aku?”

“Ih Tata mah, makanya jangan kepo, jadi ngambek, kan.”
“Ya abis namanya lagi kangen, kamunya nggak bisa dihubungin, ya udah aku buka-buka IG kamu, terus jadi pengen ngebuka IG Ryan.”
“Maafin aku Ayang, abis gimana dong. Aku tuh cuma upload foto-foto pemandangan doang, takut kamu ngambek lagi, eh Ryannya yang nanya, kok nggak upload foto dia sama aku. Giliran aku upload foto aku sama dia, kamu yang marah, kan aku pusing harus gimana, Yang.”
“Hmm, gitu ya.”
“Iya, lagian itu foto Ryan yang upload di HP aku pas aku lagi mandi, aku juga nggak tahu. Makanya aku mau jelasin waktu itu, tapi aku belum selesai bicara, kamu tutup telpon aku, terus nggak bisa dihubungin lagi. Aku nggak kuat pengen pulang terus nemuin kamu, pengen jelasin sama kamu. Kangen banget juga sama kamu. Jangan marah lagi atuh, Ayang.”
“Iya, kamunya jangan nyebelin dong, Nun.”
“Nuna nyebelin apa Taa.. Nuna tuh kurang gimana ngusahain buat ngehubungin Tata, dan itu susah banget buat cari celah.”
“Iya, iya. Ya udah, jangan nangis lagi, jelek ih.”
“Abisnyaa.. Tatanya ngambek terus. Gini deh, sebagai permintaan maaf, gimana kalau kita bolos kerja aja hari ini? Kita quality time seharian berdua. Kangen-kangenan. Ya? Deal?”

Tata menatapku genit, dia mengiyakan tawaranku, kemudian dia mengacak-acak rambutku, mencubit gemas pipiku, memelukku lagi, lalu mencium bibirku. Aku dan Tata tenggelam sejenak dalam ciuman ini, kami saling tak mau menghentikannya, mungkin karena sama-sama sudah menumpuk rindu. Hmmm… Betapa aku merindukan momen seperti ini denganmu, Ta. Rindu memiliki momen dengan orang yang benar-benar aku sayangi, yang belakangan ini berjuang mati-matian untuk membuang rasa cemburunya kepada suamiku, meskipun dia belum sanggup, tak apa, semua butuh proses.

Betapa aku mencintai dan menyayangi wanita ini dan tak akan pernah aku sanggup hidup tanpa dirinya. Perjuangan yang sedang Tata dan aku lakukan memanglah tidak mudah, sangat berat malah, tapi jika kita sudah berkomitmen untuk tetap bersama, maka jalanilah, seberat apa pun itu. Biarkan cinta menunjukkan kekuatannya.

(Nuna)

(SashaJulyy, @Redvel55)

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