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Chapter 6 : Let Her Go
“Emily, what’s wrong?” Kate wrapped her hands around Emily’s shoulder as she looked at her crying.
“My Mom get into a hospital. I have to go home.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. My Dad didn’t want to tell me over the phone, but I think it’s serious.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“Sure. That’s great. Thanks,” Kate said as she wiped her tears and hugged her.
“Everything is gonna be okay, Em.”
“Emily, where are you?”
“I’m on my way home, Dad. How’s Mom?”
“She’s….. Just please come as soon as possible, we’re all waiting for you.”
“Okay, Dad. See you soon. Tell Mom I love her”
Emily buried her face in her hand, Kate heard she’s sobbing and reached out for her hand. Emily grip her hand tight as she felt like her life depends on it.
When they arrived at the hospital, everybody’s there. Her aunt, uncle, even her grandmother. Emily looked at them with confusion.
“Dad, tell me what’s going on?”
“Your mom got cancer, Honey. She doesn’t have much time.” Emily’s crying hard, Kate just held her tight and murmuring something that she thought can help Emily to calm.
Her father asked the others to leave the room and gave her some time to be with her mother.
Emily’s heart wrenched as she saw her mother, she looked so thin, so pale and she just wanted to cry but she knew she had to be strong for her mom.
“Mom…..” Emily can’t believe her voice. She just wanted to cry.
“Come here, Honey,” her mom patted the bed next to her. She climbed on the bed and soon she felt the warmth of her mom’s hand around her waist.
“How are you, Honey?”
“I should be the one who asks you, Mom,” and they both chuckled.
“I’m fine, just a little tired. My classes are crazy this semester.”
“Don’t push yourself too hard, Honey, I don’t want you to get sick. But I don’t have to worry about that am I?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have Kate to take care of you when you’re sick.”
Emily laughed at her Mom’s word. “That’s true. I have the most amazing girlfriend in the whole world, Mom.”
“Well, should I talk to her?”
“About ‘if you hurt my daughter’s heart, I will end you.’”
“Mom, you’re kidding right?” They both laughed. A whole heart laughs, although Emily knew this maybe the last time she can laugh with her mom.
They’re both laying in comfortable silence, her mom ran her finger through Emily’s hair. It’s her favorite thing.
“Honey, can I ask you a question?”
“Of course Mom.”
“Are you happy?”
“Are you happy with what you’ve got now? I mean, you got into law school that you always wanted, you even got a scholarship to New York. You have Kate, the love of your life.”
“Yeah Mom, I’m happy. I’m surrounded by the people who really cares about me. But that’s not enough, I can tell that I’m happy if I can make you proud, Mom.”
“Oh Em, you always make me proud. From the day you were born, you already make me proud, Honey.”
In Emily’s mind, she felt like she’s screaming at her mom ‘why you talk like you’re dying? You’re not dying’, but realities hit her with the worse possibility.
“You must be tired Em, go to sleep,” her mom said and kept running her finger through Emily’s hair until she fell asleep, “I love you, Honey.”
“I love you, Mom…” This time she let her tears fall freely in her cheek.
On Emily’s mom funeral, Kate never left her side. Even when Emily yelled at her and told her that she’s okay and she just needs to back the fuck off.
Emily was never good at showing her feelings in front of other people, well except for her family and Kate. That day, she didn’t care. She’s crying, her mom has gone and she had no idea how to cope with that.
When she felt she couldn’t take it anymore, she ran to her house and cry. Kate and Hanna found her in her parent’s bedroom, clutching at her mom’s clothes. She already missed her, she missed her smell.
Kate and Hanna couldn’t do anything, they just hold her tight afraid that she’s gonna hurt herself.
A week after her mom’s funeral, Emily already back to New York and Kate decided to stay at her place for as much that she’ll need her.
“Kate, please don’t leave me,” she pleaded at Kate, her eyes is puffy and red from crying too much.
“I will never leave you, Em. We’re pinky promise since we’re four that we will be together forever. I lose you once and I will never lose you again,” Kate never saw Emily in this state. She’s so scared to be alone, so vulnerable.
“I can’t handle losing the people that I love again Kate, I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. I’m here. I’ll never leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I miss her, please tell me how to live without her,” Emily began to cry again and all the things that Kate could do was holding her because she had no idea how to answer her question.
“Em, your Mom has been so strong and you need to be strong for her too. You don’t want to make her sad, don’t you? You want to make her proud right?” Emily just nodded.
“Then don’t cry Em, I hate seeing you cry and I know your Mom is hating it too. I’m sure she wants to see you smile and happy and laugh. That’s Emily she used to know.”
Emily realized that Kate is right. She never wanted to disappoint her mom and if she’s still like this, she knows that she disappoint her.
She has Kate and she loves her so much, she has her friends, her family, and her Dad. ‘I’m gonna be fine,’ Emily told herself.
Here they are on her graduation day, she look at her father and Kate and she’s smile. She has the love that she needs.
‘Look, Mom, this is for you,’ she whispered to herself.
“We’re so proud of you,” her father hug her, “and I’m sure your mother too.”
“Yeah, Dad. I know she’s proud,” she said while smiling, the first smile that comes from her heart.