Dara (Chapter 2)

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“Pertanyaanmu ada-ada saja, Ra. Ga perlu aku jawab kamu pasti sudah tahu jawabannya, kan?” Aku mencoba tersenyum. Kuletakkan tangan ini di kedua pipinya. Kubelai wajahnya dengan lembut. Perlahan wajahnya mendekati wajahku. Semakin mendekat hingga kurasakan hangat hembusan nafasnya.

“Kenapa sekarang waktu terasa berputar lebih cepat ya?” Tiba-tiba Dara bertanya padaku, tapi sepertinya dia tidak membutuhkan jawaban. Seolah pertanyaan itu untuk dirinya sendiri. Beberapa hari terakhir sejak hari pernikahannya ditentukan, sikap Dara berubah. Dia sekarang lebih pendiam. Terkadang duduk sendiri di beranda sambil membaca buku tapi pikirannya entah kemana. Selang beberapa jam, dia hanya menatap halaman yang terbuka di lembaran yang sama. Setiap kali diajak ngobrol sering tidak nyambung.

“Dara, seandainya aku punya keberanian untuk memintamu kepada orangtuamu, pasti aku lakukan. Aku akan membahagiakanmu dengan caraku. Karena aku tahu kamu butuh aku dan aku pun sebaliknya, sangat membutuhkanmu. Dara, maafkan aku. Maafkan kepengecutanku. Yang bersarang di kepalaku sekarang hanyalah orangtua kita, keluarga kita. Tidak ada niatan sama sekali untuk membuat mereka kecewa. Terlalu berat beban yang akan kita pikul nanti. Aku tidak akan pernah membuat keluargamu menjauhimu, karena mereka adalah harta yang paling berharga. Dara, jika kesedihan ini adalah harga pantas yang harus kita bayar, maka kita harus ikhlas. Memang tidak akan mudah. Tidak sehari dua hari, sebulan dua bulan, setahun dua tahun, atau bahkan butuh waktu seumur hidup untuk menyembuhkan hati kita yang koyak. Kita harus siap untuk itu, Sayang.” Hatiku menjerit. Namun aku harus terlihat kuat di depannya.

Sore itu sambil berbaring di sampingnya, aku mengusap rambutnya dengan lembut. Kami saling diam. Tidak ada yang memulai percakapan, yang terdengar hanyalah kicauan burung-burung yang bertengger di dahan pohon. Matahari sudah akan masuk ke peraduannya. Jendela kamar memantulkan warna langit yang kemerahan seperti darah. Langit sepertinya menyimpan kemarahan, layaknya hatiku sekarang. Aku sibuk merutuki diriku. Tiba-tiba dia berkata, “Dis, seandainya kita boleh berandai-andai, aku ingin kita tinggal di bulan. Berdua sama kamu, hanya kita. Tidak ada yang lain. Selamanya kita hidup bahagia. Seandainya ya, Dis?” Aku bergumam, “Hmm,” sambil meraih tubuhnya agar semakin dekat ke tubuhku. Aku ingin menenggelamkannya dalam pelukanku. “Kamu benar, Ra. Seandainya bisa,” jawabku dalam hati. Sore semakin pekat. Matahari telah sepenuhnya bersemayam dalam kelam. Malam pun menjelang. Dan kami semakin larut dalam pikiran masing-masing. Berharap supaya waktu berhenti saja. Jangan berputar, sehingga esok pun tidak datang. Seandainya.

(Pena Terakhir)

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