Kebaya Putih Nuna (Part 2)

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3 Maret 2016.

“Halo, Ta, lo lagi d RS Borromeus nggak? Gue sama anak-anak mau ke sana sekarang.”

“Hah? Nggak, gue di kosan, baru balik gawe. Siapa yang sakit emangnya?”

“Lah, lo gimana sih, Ta? Si Nuna kan lagi dirawat di RS Borromeus dari dua hari yang lalu, lo gimana sih masa pacar sendiri sakit nggak tau. Gue kirain lo lagi jagain si Nuna.”
Nuna sakit? Nuna dirawat inap? Nuna kenapa? Nuna sakit apa sampai sudah hari ke tiga di RS?

“Woy, Ta! Malah diem lo. Mau ikut nggak lo? Kalau mau ikut gue jemput sekalian jemput si Fina nih, searah kan.”

“I..iya, Del, ikut. Oke gue siap-siap dulu.”


“Lo lagi ribut ya sama Nuna? Kok Nuna sakit sampai nggak tahu? Nuna kan update di Path, di BBM juga. Lo ribut sih ribut, Ta. Tapi jangan careless gitu dong sama Nuna, kasihan lagi sakit pacarnya malah nggak tahu.”

Omelan Adel malam itu memecah lamunanku. Adel, Fina dan beberapa teman lain ikut menasehatiku, bak mereka tahu saja apa yang sudah aku alami. Perjalanan menuju rumah sakit mendadak jadi terasa lebih lama dua kali lipat. Careless? Iya memang. Jangankan sama Nuna, semenjak sebulan yang lalu aku bahkan tak peduli pada diriku sendiri. Boro-boro buka media sosial, men-charge handphone saja aku sampai lupa. Bosku sempat ngomel karena aku tak bisa dihubungi. Lupa malah simpan HP di mana.


“Nunaaaa.. Gimana kondisi lo, Nun?” Tanya Fina dengan heboh begitu masuk kamar rawat inap Nuna.

“Hai.. Mendingan, Fin, udah turun panasnya, kata dokter kalau besok nggak panas lagi gue boleh pulang. Doain ya biar cepet sembuh.”

Teman-temanku mencoba membuka obrolan dan sesekali bercanda, mungkin supaya Nuna terhibur.

“Ssst, sst, ayo keluar.” Beberapa saat kemudian Adel seperti memberi kode kepada yang lain supaya menunggu di luar. Nuna langsung menggenggam tanganku, dia menatapku dengan tatapan yang memelas. Lingkar matanya menghitam, rambutnya lepek, raut mukanya murung, di tangannya menempel infus. Nuna sepertinya merasakan apa yang aku rasakan akhir-akhir ini.

“Maafin aku, Tata…”
Mata Nuna berkaca-kaca. Aku tak sanggup melihat Nuna seperti ini. Nuna sedang sakit, terlihat sekali ia lemah, tak ceria seperti biasanya. Egoku runtuh seketika melihat kondisi Nuna.

“Tata tahu kan Nuna sayangnya kayak apa sama Tata. Nuna sayang banget sama Tata. Nuna minta maaf banget.” Ciri khas Nuna, kalau merasa bersalah atau memohon aku melakukan sesuatu untuknya, aku-kamu-nya menjadi terganti dengan Nuna-Tata. Manis sekali Nunaku ini.

“Udah Nun, nggak usah dibahas itu dulu, yang penting kamu sehat dulu ya, nanti kita bahas lagi kalau kamu udah pulang. Makanya kamu cepet sembuh, ya.”

12 Maret 2016.

“Ya, sayang ya? Pleeease.. Bantuin Nuna dong. Ya, ya, ya?” Lagi-lagi dia bisa membuat aku tak bisa berkata “tidak” padanya. Si juara memohon. Paling tahu saja caranya bagaimana membuat aku berkata ya, padahal sebelumnya sudah bulatkan tekad untuk menolak. Nuna akan menikah dengan Ryan bulan depan. Nuna meminta aku untuk meng-handle fotografi. Iya sih, aku memang freelance photographer, setiap weekend aku mencari tambahan dengan memotret, tapi apa yang kamu pikirkan, Nuna sayang? Tidakkah terpikir olehmu kalau aku harus mengabadikan momen pernikahan pacarku sendiri?

Sore itu, aku dan Nuna bertemu di Golden Monkey, salah satu kafe favorit aku dan Nuna. Nuna memohon untuk ke sekian kalinya dan dengan bodohnya aku mengiyakan. Apa yang tak aku lakukan demi kamu Nuna. Semua akan aku lakukan asal kamu bahagia.

19 Maret 2016.

Tadi Nuna dan Ryan melakukan sesi foto pre-wedding. Sudah pasti tertebak bagaimana ekspresiku saat memotret mereka tadi. “Muak liatnya, Njing. Gimana gue nggak jealous, Del. Pacar gue dipegang-pegang orang. Tai!”

“Sabar woy. Lo harus mulai terbiasa sama hal ini. Gimana pun lo kudu siap, Ta. Orang yang pegang-pegang Nuna tadi itu ya calon suaminya, kan. Apalagi kalau udah merit beneran, si Nuna bukan cuma dipegang-pegang doang sama tu cowo. Mereka bakalan ngelakuin hal-hal yang dilakuin pasutri pada umumnya, ya tinggal serumah, ya dianter jemput, ya tidur seranjang. Lo bilang katanya lo udah komitmen sama Nuna apa pun yang terjadi lo mau sama dia, berarti lo harus siap dong sama segala risikonya, termasuk nahan rasa cemburu lo sama lakinya. Udah nih minum dulu, biar dingin kepala lo.”

Si Adel ini teman yang luar biasa aku ingin tendang dari lantai 25. Pada saat seperti ini sempat-sempatnya dia memesankan Grape Radler yang biasa Nuna pesan kalau kita sedang nongkrong di Public Bar&Lounge ini, kemudian dia menyodorkan minuman itu kepadaku seperti dia mau menenangkanku. Dengan minuman yang biasa dipesan Nuna. Menyebalkan memang.

Tetapi kadang Adel bisa berubah seperti Mamah Dedeh, memberi nasihat panjang lebar dan harus kuakui benar apa yang Adel bilang, kalau memang aku sudah memutuskan untuk masih bersama Nuna apapun yang terjadi, harusnya aku harus siap dengan segala risikonya. Apa pun itu. Aku harus mulai terbiasa dengan hadirnya orang ketiga dalam kehidupan aku dan Nuna, yaitu suaminya. Aku harus bisa menjadi yang nomor dua, karena aku bukan prioritas Nuna lagi. Aku harus bisa menerima waktunya yang semakin ke sini semakin sedikit untukku, bahkan mungkin perlahan demi perlahan aku dilupakan Nuna.

Ah. Apa pun itu, kami berdua sama-sama pernah merasa menderita saat kehilangan masing-masing, kami saling mengisi, tak bisa aku hidup tanpanya, dia pun demikian. Maka aku dan Nuna mencoba untuk terus bersama, walaupun bulan depan Nuna sudah sah menjadi istri orang lain. Tak apa Nuna, tak usah kamu merasa kasihan padaku, kita sudah membicarakan ini, dan aku sudah menyanggupi, aku rela.. Untuk menjadi yang kedua.
(SashaJulyy, @redvel55)

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